TEST1 2018

“The Toolbox” is our weekly drill down of celebrities, politicians and other news makers who are trending for all the wrong reasons. From questionable thinking and general stupidity to ham-handed decision making and a death long in coming, these five individuals are among the biggest losers of the past seven days. Sure, Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour can make or break a designer with a snap of her bony fingers but, even she can become a fashion victim. Witness the outcry from all quarters regarding the April issue of Conde Naste’s flagship glossy. What’s all the bitching about? The cover “models” are Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, two mind-numbing idiots who somehow captured Wintour’s clearly questionable imagination . Critics were even more peeved by her editor’s letter , a hooty bit of prose made even more laugh-out-loud hilarious because every word was meant to be taken seriously. When Buffy wants to put a stake in the heart of your publication, you know you’ve gone epic fai...

IN TWEET: TED NUGENT IS SO LAST MONTH. THE NUTS ON THE RIGHT HAVE A NEW HERO (AND SARAH PALIN CAN SEE HIM FROM HER HOUSE). Let’s take a stroll back in time to the start of the U.S. invasion of Iraq. Close your eyes really tight and imagine, for just a moment, what would have happened if any elected Democrat had coupled public praise for Saddam Hussein with condemnation of President Bush’s foreign policy strategy. Picture Al Gore on the Sunday talk show circuit claiming that Hussein “makes a decision and executes it quickly, then everybody reacts. That’s what you call a leader” or Hillary Clinton going off half-cocked about Bush wearing “mom jeans” while his Iraqi counterpart was all bullets and bear wrestling. The flip out from all quarters (including a then complicit mainstream media) would make what happened to the Dixie Chicks looks like a walk in the park. Why then, in the face of a very real crisis in Ukraine, is it now perfectly acceptable for a gaggle of GOP mouthpieces to s...

IN TWEET: LET’S DEDICATE A NEW NATIONAL MONUMENT TO GRIDLOCK AND GOVERNMENT BY EXTORTION, COURTESY OF THE GOP. What better way to “celebrate” the temper tantrum that is the current GOP-orchestrated shutdown of the government than immortalizing four of the key players that got us here? After all, future generations should have a striking visual reference to point to when their children ask: “Mommy and daddy, what was the Republican Party and who was responsible for killing it? ” I would suggest erecting Mount Douchemore in a gerrymandered district of the United States. Select an abandoned swath of land after the strip mining operation leaves town and fund the venture with a special tax levied on the estate of the Koch Brothers (once they kick off, of course). The first image carved must be of Ted Cruz . After all, his ego is already massive and he’s a monumental asshole… just ask his law school compadres . People say Cruz is smart but that’s like saying a chicken with its head cut o...

IN TWEET: I DON’T WANT TO MESS WITH TEXAS BUT I DO QUESTION THE SANITY OF THESE THREE REPUBLICANS FROM THE LONE STAR STATE. No, Rick Perry did not make the list. Top 5, maybe, but not Top 3. He’s just too easy a target and much less of a current threat than these three nut jobs. Forget about their party affiliation. I’m convinced they’re on an entirely different planet than the rest of us. Of course, they each hold an elected office so a majority of the people who turned out to vote supported their oddball platforms. That means they’re not the only inmates running the Lone Star Asylum. TED CRUZ (U.S. SENATE) Forget about the fact that he looks like a mash-up of Sean Hannity and one of those sad sacks you find trolling Christian Mingle looking for a Jesus lady . Ted Cruz is a Tea Party crack-pot masquerading as a guy with all of his faculties intact. He is certainly proof that just because you have an Ivy League education doesn’t mean you will legislate intelligently, rational...

IN TWEET: A SERMON FROM THE SERVICE ATTENDED BY PRESIDENT OBAMA YESTERDAY FLIPS OUT RIGHT WINGERS AND REVEALS WHAT SCARES THEM MOST: THE TRUTH. If you’re a hard-core Evangelical and/or adherent to the Tea Party version of conservatism, it’s a pretty scary world out there. Once you pop your head out from under the rock of Fox News or crawl beyond the shadow of Rush Limbaugh’s massive gut, it’s hard out there for a Right Wing pimp , yo! Here’s the wicked scary “evidence” giving Righties the heebie jeebies: There’s a scary black man in the White House . YOWZA! The scary black man in the White House also happens to be a card-carrying  Muslim Socialist who was born in A-freak-a ! OHMIGOSH! You’ve got those “wetbacks”  massing on the border and  climbing ladders to get into this country  just so they can  take our jobs . YIKES! The “filthy homosexuals” aren’t happy molesting children and boning sheep anymore, now they want to get married. GASP! The Second ...